'[I] automated my useless boss out of her job': Boss sneaks out of work to have an affair, employee automates every task she does

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2023 11:00 AM EDT

This boss thought she was getting away with sneaking around, but the entire office already knew her secrets. 

One basic rules of adult life is to avoid dating those you work with. There are billions of people in the world, so why would you want to date someone who you work with all day? It can lead to awkward power dynamics. Even if the relationship works really well, any cutesy behavior between the couple is sure to make the rest of the workplace uncomfortable. 

This boss seems like she was "useless," as u/lungb*ng shared in this malicious compliance story. Kerry, this person's boss, was known for showing up late, calling off work last minute, and leaving work early. The cherry on top is that she was also having an affair with her boss. Maybe she thought she was concealing her relationship well, but it seems like the whole office caught wind of it. 

As her employee, the OP was pretty annoyed by her accumulating time off, so one day, the OP took matters into their own hands. The best part is, they had the CEO on their side. It seems like the OP improved this workplace — and now their dating bosses have way more time to continue their affair. 

Next up, these women were outraged that children on a beach were allowed to play with inflatable toys, so they complained to this lifeguard. 

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  • 01
    Sleeve - K 2 700
    via Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - Automated my useless boss out of her job M OC This happened a few years ago, I was a data and reporting analyst and did all the ad hoc reports for the company. My boss, we'll call her Kerry, was a useless, she was one of these people that was always late, left early and took days off at short notice. The only thing of value she did was all the regular reports - sales, revenue etc. We suspected she got away with it because she was having an affair with her boss, we'll call him Stewart.
    via u/lungb*ng
  • 03
    Font - Our CEO was a fairly decent bloke, he'd look for ways to cut costs and would pay regular bonuses for the best cost saving initiatives. Kerry was very keen to submit ideas and encouraged us all to automate our tasks so she could try and take the credit for the savings.
    via u/lungb*ng
  • 04
    Font - On one of her skive days, which coincidently Stewart was "sick" as well the CEO was desperate for the sales report my boss does. I said I'd give it a look and see if I could get it done. Normally she'd spend 2-3 days doing it each week but the CEO wanted it that afternoon. A quick inspection of the data showed it would quite easily be automated so I knocked up the necessary script and got it over to the CEO who was super impressed that not only had I got it done in a couple of hours but a
    via u/lungb*ng
  • 05
    Font - Both Kerry and Stewart were back in the next day but were immediately summoned to the CEO's office before being suspended and sent home. Turns out the CEO knew they were having an affair and all the times they were sick or late or had to leave early was so they could sneak off and have s. He'd not done anything about it because how important these reports were. Now they were automated he was able to get them suspended and later fired for gross misconduct for all the time they'd taken off.
    via u/lungb*ng
  • 06
    Human body - TL;DR: My useless boss encouraged us to automated our work so I automated all her tasks and the CEO fired her for.
    via u/lungb*ng
  • 07
    Font - IsThat DaveByChance. @ 2 3 ² "Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script".
    via u/IsThatDaveByChance
  • 08
    Font - hotlavatube +3 "I've got good news and bad news CEO. The good news is I've automated the sales report and revenue report using bots. The bad news is the sales report bot is now having an affair with the revenue report bot..." ;-)
    via u/hotlavatube
  • 09
    Font - [deleted] Best part was the CEO recognized your work and gave you a bonus. Saved him a b load of money for two employees.
    via u/deleted
  • 10
    Font - AnotherLolAnon We had a secretary at work. The nurses would nicely ask her to do things like make copies and send faxes while she was busy shopping online and gossiping with the housekeepers. She would snap that that wasn't her job. I asked her what was her job and advised that she was careful how often she said that. I think she got the drift. Things mildly improved for a bit.
    via u/AnotherLolAnon
  • 11
    Font - liarandathief And did you get a raise? 124 Reply Share lungbong OP About 2 months later once they'd sorted firing both of them and deciding what they were doing with my team I got a promotion to Senior Data Analyst and a pay rise.
    via u/liarandathief
  • 12
    Font - SnickeringBear Go away, I've replaced you with a machine that can't do anything but count 0 and 1, it does your job perfectly.
    via u/SnickeringBear
  • 13
    Font - VesperVox_ Don't ever tell your boss how you created or maintain the reports. That way, you're indispensable.
    via u/VesperVox_
  • 14
    Font - bdidonna I think your CEO waited for a convenient time when Kerry was away to get someone else to do the reports and confirm his suspicion that she was useless. Kudos to you for automating it and getting a well deserved bonus, but I don't think it was all a coincidence.
    via u/bdidonna
  • 15
    Font - Cocreat I've read several "I've automated my own job and do nothing all day now" posts, but this is next level.
    via u/Cocreat
  • 16
    Font - WhatACunningham. While the justice is tasty, what will the CEO do if someone brought him a script that automates your job too, OP? I'm just kidding. Most CEOs are fairly decent blokes, right?
    via u/WhatACunningham
  • 17
    Gesture - dregan Look at me, I am the indispensable employee now!
    via u/dregan
  • 18
    Font - MrJingleJangle In this age of robotic process automation, you're either doing the automating, or you're the one being automated out of a job.
    via u/MrJingleJangle
  • 19
    Font - alexaxl Middle management fatty layer of America. Privileged positions of zero work comfort. Seen too many of this type.
    via u/alexaxl
  • 20
    Font - putin_my_a Middle manager types have been smugly warning "your job could be automated" for a while, but in my experience it's far easier to automate their jobs than the people who do the actual work.
    via u/putin_my_a
  • 21
    Font - Judgemental Pik You got played. You should have not told about the script and just applied for the promotion.
    via u/JudgementalP***k

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Tags

boss workplace-stories automatic job work sales workplace ceo malicious compliance malicious-compliance-reddit bad bosses work stories data affairs affair
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